A Day In My Life

Britney Spears / Source: US Magazine

Not that my life is all that exciting these days, but there are some surreal moments. Like sitting in the hair salon listening to the whispers all around me. “Britney Spears” was all I could hear and then the whispers turned into conversations. It turns out Britney was shopping next door and everyone was talking about how she was shopping alone. As if a celebrity couldn’t shop alone. lol One of the hairstylists put her stuff aside, grabbed her lipstick and touched it up and said, “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go next door.”

Really? People are so funny. Lipstick and everything.

I say it’s surreal to live here because as I’m reading a magazine about celebrities talking about living in L.A., I’m just shaking my head. The celebrity interviewing for the magazine was talking about his house in Bel Air and then how he moved to Brentwood and I could tell he feels a lot like I do about L.A. You kind of love it and hate it. The weather is amazing and then you settle in and get busy and your life just becomes L.A. and you don’t ever find a reason to leave. I think I finally went to that place in my relationship with L.A. I’m not the vegan-goes-to-farmer’s-markets yet (although I have gone, yes) kind of L.A. and I love and adore Silverlake but I won’t move there. I like my neighborhood–it’s like a stone’s throw from the beach and when I leave work I breath in the air and think…THIS, THIS is why I won’t move.

But part of L.A. is being around famous people or near famous people or those who would kill to be famous. It’s surreal to hear the gossip mags or TMZ say they were just following someone like two minutes away from me and I’m just sitting at work reading about it. We are SO obsessed with celebs, their lives and we think they’re these mysterious beings. They’re not. They are absolutely real people who need their space and who need to shop alone once in awhile.

I live in L.A. but the neighborhood I’m in is filled with celebs. For the record, I had no idea when I settled down. My sister is an alum from a local school and I found a job through her network there. Then I found another one–this one I’m at now–and just decided I needed to settle down and make a home. When I get Starbucks, people look familiar but I can’t place them until later. When I worked at the bookstore, the Smith’s kids came in and Willow was singing (she has a gorgeous voice) but I had no idea who they were. I’m not the kind of person who would freak out or get star struck over a celebrity and I really don’t care. I pity them because people are so harsh and invasive and I nearly always take the celebrity’s side when the whole world is against them (a la Britney’s hair shaving episode). Why? Because give people a fucking break and let them be a goddamn human, that’s why. Let them breath, let them cuss someone out if they feel like it. I don’t mean YOU, per se. I know you are all wonderful people and probably don’t treat celebrities any differently than other people.

Anyway, my hair looks amazing. Three hours and one Britney spotting later, but it looks great!

Note: Comments have been disabled until I have more time to respond to them individually or have a community manager to help respond back. I hope to add them back one day! Until then, there’s Facebook or Twitter.

Look Who’s Graduating

Witchcraft

I’ve been called a witch, the devil, etc. quite a few times over the years. One time, not too long ago, a pastor and his croons was emailing Facebook friends of mine telling them that I was operating in WITCHCRAFT and so they shouldn’t be friends with me. “Do you even know her?” he said. Anyway, what’s cool about random pastors calling you a witch and telling people you’re operating in witchcraft is not giving a damn. So, for that, my friend Aaron made this awesome meme of me not giving a fuck.

Advice

Over the years, I’ve given out a lot of advice to you, my dear readers and friends. I think I’ve covered everything from suicide to sexuality to how to argue your point with a Christian. I never set out to do this but I will say it’s a natural extension of who I am and this trait comes from my mother. My mom is the best at giving advice and seeing situations for what they are.

So, in an effort to embrace what I’m good at, I’m going to post an occasional column here that talks about issues you want to the know the answer to. A sort of “Ask Lisa” place that people can look at down the road, because I assure you for every question you’ve asked me, a dozen other people have asked the same one.

Some basics: you can email me (mycultlife@gmail.com), Facebook or tweet to me your question. If you email me, please include “Ask Lisa” in the subject line and a keyword on what it’s about (depression, religion, fundamentalism, etc.). Example: Ask Lisa about depression. You can include a story or anecdote, just make sure you’re okay with it being posted online.

As a rule I won’t use your real name, but if you would include your state or country of residence, that would be great.

Your identity will never be revealed but please note that your emails WILL be published. All identifying names will be removed and replaced with fake names.

What Feminists/Cult Survivors/Atheists Hear Daily On the Internet

Almost always, the trolls we (feminists, former Christians, agnostic/atheist/spiritualists) get online are all the same with the same argument:
a) You are militant, angry, and bitter. I dismiss your argument.
b) If your husband/boyfriend/brother were a better man you would not be feminist.
c) You hate men.
d) Stop complaining because you are hurting The Church or you were hurt by The Church.
e) You all think alike. You aren’t open to new opinions.
f) I’m not comfortable here.

LITERALLY, we hear this every day. We’re over it. Like FMH says, if you don’t like this blog (or feminists, former Christians, atheists) get your own blog and talk about whatever the fuck you want, including but not limited to: why you hate this blog. No one cares. I’ve heard it all before.

(Adapted from the Feminist Mormon Housewives.)

International Day Against Homophobia

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia, an initiative to bring awareness to diversity and acceptance of people in the world regardless of sexual orientation. Find out more here or just share this (or your own words) on your Facebook or Twitter page.

The Feminist Mormon Housewives

While everyone is obsessing with mommy bloggers who cook organic roasted squash for their babies, I’m over here watching and reading (for years now), the Feminist Mormon Housewives. I don’t remember where I first heard of them, but I joined their secret Facebook group and slowly started learning that they were just like me, except they decided to stay in the church and change it from the inside. For this, I applaud them. They are a brave group of women. Many of their experiences with doctrine have been similar to mine and their questions have been similar to the ones I raised.

“Why do we have modesty doctrines and guidelines?”

“What if a woman doesn’t want to raise children? Is she less of a woman?”

“Is a woman’s only role to bear children? Why not?”

“What is this patriarchal world we’re all living in and how did it get this controlling?”

As a young woman, I was drawn to Mormonism. Quite a few times, I almost made the leap and converted, but something held me back. Perhaps it was my parents’ voice saying, “No, they’re a cult.” (I don’t consider them a cult anymore than I would consider Evangelical Christianity as a whole a cult. Mainstream Mormonism is vastly different than Fundamentalist Mormonism, which is the most restrictive, and I’ll be honest, cult is a harsh term. Patriarchal religion is maybe the safest term for Mormonism and Evangelical Christianity, though it might not capture the complexities quite as well as a term like cult. And yes, both movements do have cult-like traits.)

Despite my parents not wanting me to join the Mormon church, I went to every Mormon dance I could in high school with my Mormon friends. I went to “Seminary” with them on a weekday before school. I sang with my Honor Choir in a Mormon church. I even dated young Mormon boys.

When I first entered Master’s Commission the appeal was simple: they based Master’s Commission’s rules on the Mormon missionary movement. No dating, limited communication with family and friends from back home, strict dress code, and a focus on purity, relationship with Christ, and evangelizing. Okay, okay…maybe Mormon missionaries do cult-like rituals when they sign up for the mission field.

Regardless, the new Mormon feminism is fascinating. There are thousands of women who are questioning the oppressive traditions of their church, wearing pants to church, and thinking like, well…feminists. I can’t explain how complex it all is without giving away some very private conversations and people’s identities, so for now I’ll let you explore if you’re interested.

Here’s their new campaign, called I’m a Mormon feminist where they feature stories of women: http://mormonfeminist.org/

Here’s their blog, which began in 2004. You can learn quite a bit about them here: http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FeministMormonHousewives

Or read this piece in the Boston Globe: http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/04/05/women-hope-for-mormon-spring/kSchzSqQDRRKAQtvfi8hhL/story.html

Here in Salon magazine: http://www.salon.com/2012/04/20/the_rise_of_the_mormon_feminist_housewife/

Gay Marriage Is Now Legal In 13 countries; Catholics Still Fighting It

By legalizing same-sex marriage, the archbishop of Paris, Cardinal Andre Vingt-Trois, says, “This is the way a violent society develops. Society has lost its capacity of integration and especially its ability to blend differences in a common project.”

Hmm. Really, Archbishop? Really?

No one really cares what Vingt-Trois thinks though. The world carries on, and France is now the 13th country to legalize gay marriage. Uruguay and New Zealand recently legalized gay marriage, also.

According to HuffPo, “Same-sex nuptials are legal in 12 countries — Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden and Uruguay — as well as in some parts of Mexico, Brazil and the United States…Several other countries, including Britain, are planning to legalise it in the near future.”

The Culture of Silent Obedience

Sound familiar? Many religious organizations are held together by the culture of silent obedience. Crimes which are committed by “God’s people” are often overlooked or covered up for years. A sex-scandal is emerging now out of the Serbian Orthodox Church. Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty reports the story:

Bishop Kacavenda poses with Belgrade stripper Dejan Nestorovic

The Serbian Orthodox Church has approved the resignation of a powerful cleric amid sex-scandal claims that culminated this week with the publication of a graphic video appearing to show him engaged in sexual activity with young men.

Vasilije Kacavenda, the bishop of Tuzla and Zvornik in Bosnia-Herzegovina, retreated from his clerical duties months ago as allegations mounted that he had used his position for years to stage frequent orgies and rape underage boys and girls.

But the April 22 decision by the Holy Synod to accept his resignation appears to be the first acknowledgment of the church’s growing unease with the crush of lurid accusations that seem better suited to Caligula’s court than an Orthodox diocese.

Bojan Jovanovic, a former theological student in Bijeljina, the seat of Kacavenda’s diocese, says he observed numerous orgies organized by the 74-year-old bishop and attended by fellow clerics and prominent businessmen.

Jovanovic says Kacavenda personally appealed to him to supply young children for sexual purposes and frequently called on high-ranking church officials to organize trysts with young theological students.

[...]

The church’s stance has drawn unfortunate comparisons with the Vatican’s handling of its own sex-

abuse scandals. Mirko Djordjevic, a sociologist in Belgrade, says the Orthodox leadership has long thought of itself as untouchable even as rampant evidence of wrongdoing came to light.

“Our church tried to push these things under the carpet. Or, once things could no longer be hidden, the civil courts have waited for the statute of limitations to kick in,” Djordevic says. “In the case of Bishop Pahomije, the state is simply waiting for the whole thing to get old, even though the phenomenon of pedophilia in the church and in society is widespread. The trouble is that in our country, except for some notable exceptions, the public is asleep or intimidated and doesn’t have the courage to face these problems.”