Author Archives: My Cult Life

About My Cult Life

Lisa is a survivor of a fundamentalist Christian cult called Master's Commission which poses as a secular group to infiltrate public high schools and recruit teens who are college-bound. In Master's Commission, teens become "interns" for several years and are forbidden to date. Need more answers? You can find Lisa's free eBook here: http://mycultlife.us2.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=431232f30cc9f9dfbb4224410&id=d8d77b3a97 If you need help finding something, try searching the Sitemap: http://www.mycultlife.com/where-to-start-sitemap/

Advice

What Feminists/Cult Survivors/Atheists Hear Daily On the Internet

International Day Against Homophobia

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia, an initiative to bring awareness to diversity and acceptance of people in the world regardless of sexual orientation. Find out more here or just share this (or your own words) on your Facebook or Twitter page.

The Feminist Mormon Housewives

While everyone is obsessing with mommy bloggers who cook organic roasted squash for their babies, I’m over here watching and reading (for years now), the Feminist Mormon Housewives. I don’t remember where I first heard of them, but I joined their secret Facebook group and slowly started learning that they were just like me, except they decided to stay in the church and change it from the inside. For this, I applaud them. They are a brave group of women. Many of their experiences with doctrine have been similar to mine and their questions have been similar to the ones I raised.

“Why do we have modesty doctrines and guidelines?”

“What if a woman doesn’t want to raise children? Is she less of a woman?”

“Is a woman’s only role to bear children? Why not?”

“What is this patriarchal world we’re all living in and how did it get this controlling?”

As a young woman, I was drawn to Mormonism. Quite a few times, I almost made the leap and converted, but something held me back. Perhaps it was my parents’ voice saying, “No, they’re a cult.” (I don’t consider them a cult anymore than I would consider Evangelical Christianity as a whole a cult. Mainstream Mormonism is vastly different than Fundamentalist Mormonism, which is the most restrictive, and I’ll be honest, cult is a harsh term. Patriarchal religion is maybe the safest term for Mormonism and Evangelical Christianity, though it might not capture the complexities quite as well as a term like cult. And yes, both movements do have cult-like traits.)

Despite my parents not wanting me to join the Mormon church, I went to every Mormon dance I could in high school with my Mormon friends. I went to “Seminary” with them on a weekday before school. I sang with my Honor Choir in a Mormon church. I even dated young Mormon boys.

When I first entered Master’s Commission the appeal was simple: they based Master’s Commission’s rules on the Mormon missionary movement. No dating, limited communication with family and friends from back home, strict dress code, and a focus on purity, relationship with Christ, and evangelizing. Okay, okay…maybe Mormon missionaries do cult-like rituals when they sign up for the mission field.

Regardless, the new Mormon feminism is fascinating. There are thousands of women who are questioning the oppressive traditions of their church, wearing pants to church, and thinking like, well…feminists. I can’t explain how complex it all is without giving away some very private conversations and people’s identities, so for now I’ll let you explore if you’re interested.

Here’s their new campaign, called I’m a Mormon feminist where they feature stories of women: http://mormonfeminist.org/

Here’s their blog, which began in 2004. You can learn quite a bit about them here: http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FeministMormonHousewives

Or read this piece in the Boston Globe: http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/04/05/women-hope-for-mormon-spring/kSchzSqQDRRKAQtvfi8hhL/story.html

Here in Salon magazine: http://www.salon.com/2012/04/20/the_rise_of_the_mormon_feminist_housewife/

Gay Marriage Is Now Legal In 13 countries; Catholics Still Fighting It

By legalizing same-sex marriage, the archbishop of Paris, Cardinal Andre Vingt-Trois, says, “This is the way a violent society develops. Society has lost its capacity of integration and especially its ability to blend differences in a common project.”

Hmm. Really, Archbishop? Really?

No one really cares what Vingt-Trois thinks though. The world carries on, and France is now the 13th country to legalize gay marriage. Uruguay and New Zealand recently legalized gay marriage, also.

According to HuffPo, “Same-sex nuptials are legal in 12 countries — Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden and Uruguay — as well as in some parts of Mexico, Brazil and the United States…Several other countries, including Britain, are planning to legalise it in the near future.”

The Culture of Silent Obedience

Sound familiar? Many religious organizations are held together by the culture of silent obedience. Crimes which are committed by “God’s people” are often overlooked or covered up for years. A sex-scandal is emerging now out of the Serbian Orthodox Church. Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty reports the story:

Bishop Kacavenda poses with Belgrade stripper Dejan Nestorovic

The Serbian Orthodox Church has approved the resignation of a powerful cleric amid sex-scandal claims that culminated this week with the publication of a graphic video appearing to show him engaged in sexual activity with young men.

Vasilije Kacavenda, the bishop of Tuzla and Zvornik in Bosnia-Herzegovina, retreated from his clerical duties months ago as allegations mounted that he had used his position for years to stage frequent orgies and rape underage boys and girls.

But the April 22 decision by the Holy Synod to accept his resignation appears to be the first acknowledgment of the church’s growing unease with the crush of lurid accusations that seem better suited to Caligula’s court than an Orthodox diocese.

Bojan Jovanovic, a former theological student in Bijeljina, the seat of Kacavenda’s diocese, says he observed numerous orgies organized by the 74-year-old bishop and attended by fellow clerics and prominent businessmen.

Jovanovic says Kacavenda personally appealed to him to supply young children for sexual purposes and frequently called on high-ranking church officials to organize trysts with young theological students.

[...]

The church’s stance has drawn unfortunate comparisons with the Vatican’s handling of its own sex-

abuse scandals. Mirko Djordjevic, a sociologist in Belgrade, says the Orthodox leadership has long thought of itself as untouchable even as rampant evidence of wrongdoing came to light.

“Our church tried to push these things under the carpet. Or, once things could no longer be hidden, the civil courts have waited for the statute of limitations to kick in,” Djordevic says. “In the case of Bishop Pahomije, the state is simply waiting for the whole thing to get old, even though the phenomenon of pedophilia in the church and in society is widespread. The trouble is that in our country, except for some notable exceptions, the public is asleep or intimidated and doesn’t have the courage to face these problems.”

[Emphasis my own.]

Former Chairman of Exodus International Turns His Back on the “Ex-Gay” Movement

LGBTQ Nation reports that “John Paulk, the former chairman of Exodus International, a Christian ministry devoted to performing controversial gay-to-straight “reparative therapy” has formally renounced his past and says he is “truly, truly sorry” for the pain he’s caused by advocating that gays could change their sexual orientation through prayer and therapy.” His statement is as follows:

“For the better part of 10 years, I was an advocate and spokesman for what’s known as the ‘ex-gay movement,’ where we declared that sexual orientation could be changed through a close-knit relationship with God, intensive therapy and strong determination.

“At the time, I truly believed that it would happen. And while many things in my life did change as a Christian, my sexual orientation did not.”

[...]

“Today, I do not consider myself “ex-gay” and I no longer support or promote the movement. Please allow me to be clear: I do not believe that reparative therapy changes sexual orientation; in fact, it does great harm to many people.”

[...]

“Today, I see LGBT people for who they are–beloved, cherished children of God. I offer my most sincere and heartfelt apology to men, women, and especially children and teens who felt unlovable, unworthy, shamed or thrown away by God or the church.”

In 2011, John Smid, a former “ex-gay” leader of Exodus International’s oldest ministry “Love in Action,” also admitted he is gay and took a stand against the message he preached for years. More on John Smid here: http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/2012/09/29471/

Why I Don’t Believe in Sin

If you read here often, you know Anne Rice is one of my favorite women. She recently posted this question to her Facebook fans:

What do you think about the word, sin? I think it’s a bad word, a confusing word. It doesn’t help us to meet the challenges we face. What do you think? Do you believe in “sin?” What is it? Can you define it for me and others?

My reply was quite simple: “I don’t believe in sin. I think what people really mean when they talk about sin is becoming a better person. Growing and working on yourself is something we should all aspire to do, but to call our shortcomings “sin” is damaging. Some of the “sin” I used to think I had in the past was actually my personality and some of it was depression.”

Quite simply, the idea of sin is made up by preachers and people who want to perpetuate religion. Is the idea of sin really necessary as a driving force to be a better person? Is guilt necessary to cause us to “confess” our shortcomings? I don’t think so. Before you disagree and point out the Boston bombers or some other example, of course, I agree with you: there are people who do bad things, who hurt other people, etc. But the complexity surrounding these people is much greater than just “He’s a monster,” or “She’s evil.” Rarely is there a moment where things are so simple.

All dark deeds aside, many of us have had religious-induced guilt pounded into our psyche for far too long. So much that we find it easy to “admit we’re a sinner” and ask for forgiveness. Look, I’m fine asking someone for forgiveness that I’ve hurt, but I don’t believe that I should admit I’m a sinner. I’m not a sinner. I’m a good person, but I have emotions. I get angry, sad, glad, upset, depressed, and on occasion I have a moment of rage. I think that makes me human, not a sinner.

If you want to sell the “sinner” path, great. I hope someone buys your bullshit. As for me, I’ll be over here in “enjoying life” land.

Interested in hearing more of why I left Christianity? Read this piece of work (I say that sarcastically) by John Piper talking about sin: http://www.worldmag.com/2013/04/we_re_all_broken_what_then What complete and total bullshit. I can’t be a part of a religion that teaches this nonsense.

[Thanks to my friend Suzi for the John Piper article link.]

Kirk Cameron criticizes Stephen Hawking (and every non-believer) for saying ‘there is no heaven’

I used to think Kirk Cameron was cute, obviously, but lately (read: for a really long time) he’s become so emblematic for everything that’s wrong with Christianity. And by Christianity, I mean fundamentalism and by fundamentalism I mean the “bat shit crazy” of our times.

Kirk Cameron recently criticized Stephen Hawking’s ‘there is no heaven’ statement on his Facebook page:

I obviously have a lot of issues with his statement. First of all, it doesn’t make sense in the “realm of reality” as he says he lives. The problem with reading fundamentalist arguments is that it’s like listening to gibberish, and the argument only makes sense within the confines of a fundamentalist belief system/community/culture. So, if you sometimes venture out to work, or a secular college, or a normal book, this stuff won’t make sense to you. Second, I have a ton of questions (see below):

Kirk says: To say anything negative about Stephen Hawking is like bullying a blind man. He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas. Professor Hawking is heralded as “the genius of Britain,” yet he believes in the scientific impossibility that nothing created everything…

I say: Do you mean that he believes God did not create the universe? Believing that God didn’t have any place in creating the universe is entirely different from believing in scientific theory. They are separate entities and not related at all. If a scientist doesn’t take into consideration the belief that God created the universe it’s because it’s not a REAL theory and it’s based entirely on a Christian world-view, not a scientific one. There are plenty of Christians and Christian scientists who don’t find the creation story legitimate.

Kirk says: (Sir Isaac Newton called atheism “senseless and odious”) and that life sprang from non-life. To speak on issues of science and violate it’s essential laws is like playing checkers with a someone who changes the rules when he’s losing.

I say: What essential laws of science has Hawking violated? I see no violation evident here. Also, who cares if Sir Isaac Newton didn’t like atheism? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion; however, unless some random statement like this about an historical figure has a reference linked to it, I am wary that it’s even true.

Kirk says: Why should anyone believe Mr. Hawking’s writings if he cannot provide evidence for his unscientific belief that out of nothing, everything came?

I say: Why should Hawking have to waste time providing evidence of a belief system? A religion? You can’t “prove” that a religion or belief system is real-by it’s very nature religion/belief systems are and idea, a cultural and societal phenomenon, that’s both useful and interesting to try to understand why communities hold on to them, but why we have religion in the world is not really a scientific question. The examination of belief systems and ideas perpetuated by beliefs is better suited for philosophers or anthropologists; it’s unrelated to science.

Kirk says: He says he knows there is no Heaven. John Lennon wasn’t sure. He said to pretend there’s no Heaven. That’s easy if you try.

I say: There is no heaven. Heaven is a sales-tactic used by Christian ministers which has successfully scared the hell out of people for years. Why take offense to someone not believing in your beliefs?

Kirk says: Then he said he hoped that someday we would join him. Such wishful thinking reveals John and Stephen’s religious beliefs, not good science. They may imagine all they want, but I lost my faith in atheism long ago and prefer to stay within the realm of reality.

I say: Okay, first of all, Stephen doesn’t have wishful thinking and John Lennon was a songwriter whose songs (like many songs) borrow from Christian culture and phrases because it’s been a part of the US and world for centuries; not necessarily because Lennon believed. Also, no one really cares if you lost faith in atheism a long time ago. Atheism isn’t something people like me care to push on anyone, even fundies like you. In fact, I could care less what you believe or don’t believe and that’s the difference–the major difference–between you and me. The only reason I care to bring this up is that you feel the need to push your views on people all the time. That’s WHY atheists are angry. Atheists are often former Christians who see through the bullshit and the stupidity of our former beliefs. We have little tolerance for these kind of lectures. They’re useless.

(h/t Washington Post)