Hi Friends,
My name is Lisa Kerr, creator of My Cult Life.
My Cult Life is a little story about how I got myself lost in a cult when I was seventeen years old and came out kicking people’s asses. It’s now a big playground full of stories of how I lost my faith, became an obligatory cult ‘expert’ of sorts, gotten insanely political & feminist, and rekindled my love affair with writing. And cats. There are lots of cats.
In July, 2011, I started My Cult Life as a way to pre-write my first book, a memoir I’m (still) writing about my early twenties as a reverend who lost her faith in God but found herself along the way. I’m currently hard at work on the manuscript and weave in and out of blogging and blog vacations, where I hermit-out in my studio apartment and write sans Internet. Actually, I rarely do anything sans Internet, but I like to pretend that life is all Montana, mountains and hot cocoa with marshmallows. Or Alaska, which is my accidental writing spot of choice.
An abandoned church in Alaska.
My dad, who’s a little bit of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood, as you can see by the camo gear and gun slinging, as we trek through Alaska.
Along the (blogging) way, I discovered that many of my readers needed actual help figuring out if their group was a cult, guidance along the way while they were losing or discarding their religion, and some serious resources on cults, destructive groups, and brainwashing. So, I did some interviews on NPR and Philly.com and started writing an e-book which is soon-to-be published. This was a very sobering several months for me when I realized that I was one of tens of thousands (or more) who’s spiritual leader had taken their freedoms away and bitch slapped them into submitting to their authority.
So I spent months brainstorming how I could help everyone in the world and still have fun in life. I still haven’t figured it out but I hope one day to start a foundation that will not only Save Every Cat but will help people network with professional therapists and doctors who can help them recover from their spiritual abuse induced depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorders.
Okay, breathe.
I lost my job and struggled through college which the blog also chronicles, quite depressingly, I might admit. And then I got a new job that I love, and a new boyfriend that I think might be the man of my dreams (this is still pending, since we’re only dating 4 months and counting).
Shhh, don’t tell him he’s on the Internets. My boyfriend, the director and me.
With 1 cat and 1 asshole kitten, a writing career that has my me high out of my mind with endorphins, I’d say life is pretty damn-near perfect.
I was a janitor at GT Austin when MC was in it’s second year there. I loved all you “MC’s” and thought you were doing such a good work for the Lord. When GT starting having nights for MC’s to get away and fellowship with families of the church, we signed up right away. It was wonderful. I questioned things going on with MC’s, but just being a lowly janitor felt it wasn’t my place to bring it up to anyone. I had a friend who’s daughter became an MC during this time frame, and there were questions, accusations and concerns from her family as well as her. The family met with the leadership of the church and she left MC’s as a result. I doubted her story then, for I felt the MC program was a wonderful thing, and she just wasn’t dedicated to it. I now see some answers to what she was talking about, I have also see why Edin Ennis left so abrupt to go to La, and after Dan M. left (Ennis’ successor at GT Austin) MCA was disbanded. I think the leadership of the Church felt they did not want to bring in another “Edwin” from outside the church, as no one in MC then was ready to step up and take leadership.
I am saddened by all this, going own right behind my back while I was cleaning bathrooms,and vacuumed floors.
Please don’t feel that these actions were intentional, I feel the Masters Commission nationally and Internationally as well as GT Austin are wonderful organizations. I have attended GT Austin for about 20 years, and never knew any of this was going on. I believe the Leadership at GT handled this very well when it was brought to the forefront.
Remember, God is in Control, Not any one person. I believe the intentions at first were good, but power has a way of changing things. Do not put your trust in man, for he will let you down every time, but put your trust in God,He knows what is best for each of us.
I understand if you went through any of this, you may question God, and want to turn your back on Him, but I have done that, and it doesn’t satisfy only makes things worse..
God will never force us to do anything we don’t want to do, He will however “nag” (my word not His) us until we want to do what He wants. When we love Him, we will do things to make Him happy, these things are the things that are best for us , it’s just we are so stubborn, it takes time to see it.
I really am hurt, stunned…..to see this whole thing, and put together in my mind the events that led to decisions that were made, some I questioned not knowing the real reason. The Lord loves each and everyone of you guys, and wants only the best for you.
Love Chris Calvin
Chris,
I hope to reply more to your comment later, but what I will say is that my relationships with the leadership at GT Austin have always been wonderful. When they found out how much I was hurting from all of this, I received phone calls and emails from Pastor Kermit. He was extremely kind and always asked if there was anything Cindy or he could do. I was also very close to Vic and Naomi Schober and received emails of concern from them. I do feel that they had no idea the magnitude of what went on, because it was more of an independent ministry that was operated under the umbrella of GT, but not directly governed by GT. Therefore, the pastors and leaders of GT could hardly be held responsible.
Lisa
Chris,
Also, no one is just a “lowly janitor.”
Lisa: your words are healing. I do not or have ever felt GT was in any way responsible for anything that went on, but hearing you say these things brings reassurance. Thank you., I was a Janitor for Him.
Lisa,
I’m so proud of you that you not only got out but that you’re courageous enough to tell your story to others. I do urge you not to give up on God and your faith. A real (and genuine) personal relationship with Christ is a wonderful thing and so please don’t give up on that aspect. If there’s ever anything I can do to answer questions or just talk with, my e-mail is pastorsungkim@gmail.com and my church office # is 530.222.8440. God bless you and thank you for the interesting reading material about your life and trials with Master’s Commission.
In His Service,
Rev. Sung Kim
Rev. Sung Kim,
Thank you so much for your kind words. Of course, leaving a group as controlling and hate-filled as this one has been difficult. The many times “Christians” from this group have tried to bully me, and guilt me into believing their same ideology has been very taxing. The best thing I can do for myself is to cut myself off from them, in order to protect my well-being.
As for “giving up on God or faith,” that isn’t something this group would ever be responsible for. Just because there were trying moments after leaving, doesn’t mean that they influence my thinking since I left. The decisions I’ve made, and the opinions I hold, have evolved and changed from hours of meditating, researching and learning to be myself. I’m extremely proud of the hard work I’ve done in the past few years–recovering from this group and their destructive teachings. I still have a ways to go…
Lisa
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