This post originally appeared on “Sarah’s Collage” a blog written by a Mercy insider who attend the program in Australia.
Since around the beginning of the year, myself and some other fellow survivors have been involved in a struggle to have our respective client files released to us.
(Some coverage of this can be found here, compliments of Sean the Blogonaut).
As this is public domain, I will speak only for the situation involving myself.
When all of this began, I fasted and prayed my heart out, considered scripture and discussed the issue with a few wise friends.
After much delay and Mercy’s subsequent refusal, a bunch of phone calls, intervention of a Lawyer and the Privacy Commissioner and further delay, I received an incomplete file.
Prior to my appointment on Tuesday evening, I did not expect that I would feel troubled by its contents. In fact, I did not expect to feel anything at all.
This was true of most of it, even of the more sensitive material.
Some of it that would have troubled me years ago actually made me laugh out loud.
There was only one thing really that I felt a bit disturbed by. It related to one of the major traumatic events I experienced there, and the account of that event was so twisted and untrue. For a second, I felt that old familiar feeling again of having my sanity put in question.
I was glad to have my Psychologist present to share a good chuckle with.
I just feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to heal from that experience with the help of some safe, wise and discerning women in my world. Not all girls have had that opportunity, but God can use many things to heal an abused heart.
I can see how going through one’s own file with a sane, trusted and qualified person can be a significant healing experience for those who are still reeling from the impact, even several years on.
Having that choice restored to us is healing in itself, validating of our adulthood and our own ability to make decisions that are in the best interests of our healing.
I am yet to receive the remaining documents, and after several delays I have come to expect that I will not be receiving it any time soon, and definitely not before I go into hospital in about two weeks.
So today, I am thanking God for victory, for healing and restoration in the lives of survivors both here and abroad, for the voice He has restored to me, and most of all I am thanking him that my suffering was not in vain.
He works all things together for good.